My Letter to Toms Shoes

Dear TOMS:

I would like to do those kids a favour, the ones without shoes. The world is a cruel place, and I am saving the children from the suffering that will continue if you give them shoes. It would be much more to their benefit if they should contract some sort of fatal infection via a cut or scratch in the foot. Only then can a child truly move on to the paradise of the neo-life.

Thank you for helping me save the souls of countless children. However, should you not follow my instructions, I will start my own shoe company called KENS. We will be your rival company, and our policy will be similar to yours, but in an opposite fashion. For every pair of shoes we sell, we will steal a pair from a young child in a third world country, thus saving them. It would be in your best interests to just follow my orders if you're all so "philanthropic".

In all seriousness though, I noticed right on your very own website that your shoes are manufactured in third-world nations already, such as Argentina, China, and Ethiopia. I happen to know that in these nations child labour laws are minimal or absent completely. Therefore, I accuse you, TOMS Shoes, of being hypocrites. Sure, you're providing shoes to children (which most people thing is benevolent), but they don't realize that you're forcing the kids to make the shoes which they just might wear.

Don't get me wrong, I think the concept is neat and your shoes all look really cool. But don't put up a philanthropic front if you're just going to have kids working in factories to make them anyway. Just be a normal shoe company like Nike or Adidas or Phat Farm. Ok, don't be like Phat Farm, nobody wears those anymore.

Having said all this, I plan on purchasing a pair of your shoes in the near future. However, I don't want you, under any circumstances, to give a child a pair of shoes with my order. I will not contribute to your hypocrisy and it ends here. I've already told all my friends about this, and it would be a shame if you lost any more customers because of this.

Hoping you heed my advice,
Kenny (aka Child Saviour)